Contemporary Issues: War with Syria
by BananaManiaBubblegum
Summary: A meeting between the USA, Israel, Turkey, and Bulgaria about war with Syria. T for language.


**It doesn't matter much, but I searched around a bit and based on majorities, I decided that: **

**Israel – female**  
**Syria - male**

**Everything else is explained after the story.**

**Contemporary Issues**

Bulgaria walked through America's house, briefcase clutched in one hand, a wooden walking cane in the other. His green military suit was in pristine condition, as his years with the German brothers had taught him. It was an important meeting that he was about to attend, one best kept secret from most.

With little directions from the servants, he got to his destination: America's office. Inside Israel and Turkey were already seated and waiting. Bulgaria took a seat as well after they exchanged standard greetings for nations about to discuss military issues.

A few minutes later, America himself walked into his office and beamed at the three nations gathered inside.

"Hello, Israel, Bulgaria, Turkey." He nodded at each of them respectfully as he said their names. Finally, the meeting started.

"I called you here," America began, "To discuss military advancement at Syria."

Almost immediately Bulgaria stood up abruptly, banging his hands on the table. He had an enraged expression on his face. "If we are discussing your possible war with him, I am out of here. I refuse to be dragged into any more conflicts of possible global scale, especially since I can't even pick myself up properly since WWII!" He waved the cane in his hand wildly to make his point, nearly hitting Turkey in the face. When Turkey pulled back to avoid the Bulgarian's handy tool and glared at him, Bulgaria didn't look the least bit sorry.

America immediately rushed to thaw his anger, "I can't say I didn't call you here for that, but if you will hear me out, I want to point out the advantages of the war-"

"Don't talk to me about advantages of war, dechko!" Bulgaria burst. "I know perfectly well the advantages of war and also its fucking losses! I may be at a historical low, but I still have a lot to lose and not much to use in order to win. I thought we were here to discuss advancements of military prowess or whatever, not wars!"

"All you will have to do is provide storage grounds!" America shouted back. There was a pause. Both nations took deep breaths to calm down. Israel and Turkey looked on in disinterest, though Turkey looked mildly disgusted.

Finally, America continued, "I can even pay you for your services and provide defense for your people in the war. I only need use of your land for storage."

As Bulgaria wished he had declared absolute neutrality like Switzerland, good ole Switzerland, Turkey piped in, "So why are we here?" He emphasized the 'we', meaning himself and Israel. America looked at them both and declared, "I call use of the nuclear weapons stored in Turkey's lands by my government. And I ask of Israel, as a friend, to help out in this war."

Bulgaria had slumped in his seat, looking at the ground solemnly. He had propped his head up and when he spoke, he didn't lift his gaze from the floor. "So one thing is for sure then; there will be a war."

America turned, his lips pressed tightly together, eyes blazing. He answered stiffly, uncharacteristically for himself, "Yes."

"And you do not want my help, only my services." Bulgaria clarified.

"Yes."

"I would have been of significance in a war if you and Turkey hadn't stupidly demanded I disable my weapons if I wanted to be part of NATO." He spat bitterly, all the mistakes that led to his current position in light of his previous prestige flashing through his mind.

No one answered that. It wasn't a question.

"You can't even pay me," Bulgaria laughed shortly at the irony. "Mr. 16.7-trillion-dollar-debt."

Israel piped in with a clipped reply, "We're not going into childish name-calling, Mr. All-time-low-because-I-can't-make-up-my-mind." That promptly shut Bulgaria up.

"So, why only us three?" Turkey asked, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms in a non-verbal declaration that he was ready to hear America out, but not particularly interested so far.

A cleared throat later, the answer was given. "Well, for one, I believe it is not in my favor to rely on too many nations for this because I won't be able to keep track of everyone and any leaks on this might be fatal. So I bought my artillery down to the bare minimum. I really need you three."

"-Speaking of which, if I provide you with my services, I will be walking a dangerous line with the EU. Therefore, I want my payment to be something different from money." Bulgaria spoke up again. It seemed he was already sold on the idea of helping out in the war after thinking it over.

"Say your price." America prompted and the Balkan nation obliged. "I want the full amount of nuclear weapons lost over the NATO dispute be restored to me, all expenses paid by you."

"That will put me in a compromising position with the Organization!" the American protested, but it seemed like Bulgaria had found the weak link and was keen on exploiting it. None of the other two nations had tried to butt in the dealmaking conversation, but Turkey cut in promptly. "You forget, Bulgaria, I will not stand for this."

"An eye for an eye, baba!" the Balkan nation roared at the one who interrupted. "I risk EU, he risks NATO, I don't fucking care what you have to say about that anymore."

"And what about what I have to say about that?" Israel said. She looked coolly at the hotheaded Balkan nation. "I have been on friendly terms with Mr. America for a long time now. It is also not in my interest for him to be in an unstable political position. Therefore, I propose middle grounds. I provide the weaponry you wish for, and Mr. America owes me a debt which I will cash in eventually for a favor."

Neither the United States, nor Bulgaria appreciated the third party in the two-way deal, but they reluctantly agreed nonetheless. It seemed like the best way to go about this, in fact. They agreed to discuss the terms of the deal and to write up the contract at a later date. For now, they all turned back to the issue at hand. The meeting was nearing its end and clarifications needed to be made final.

"Israel, do you agree to help me out in the event of a war at the conditions set by both parties?"

"Yes."

"Turkey, do you agree to allow access to my nuclear reserves in your lands for the event of a war?"

"Yes."

"Bulgaria, do you agree-"

"-Yes."

"Well then; I declare this meeting at an end. Let the war begin."

***Dechko - mildly insulting Bulgarian term (on the scale of 1-10 it's probably 0.2-0.5 depending on the use) referring to a child or a childish person. In the context it means USA is way younger than Bulgaria, therefore he knows less than him.**

***Baba - means 'grandmother' in Bulgarian, but 'father' in Turkish; a leftover name from the time Bulgaria lived in Turkey's house (a sneaky insult, might I add)**

***Most of the facts in the story are true:**

**- according to my online resources, that is indeed the amount of money the USA owes because its gold reserve is less than the money it has made in order to pay its wars.**

**- I didn't know about the NATO situation, so when I read about it, I thought it'd be a good addition. Perfectly legitimate. Bulgarian nuclear weapons were disabled because America and Turkey put it as a condition to Bulgaria joining the Organization.**

**- 'Fun' military assemblies have been going on lately in Bulgaria and according to a few sources, it's American weapons and soldiers pouring in from across the ocean.**

**- Turkey is part of the 'nuclear sharing' concept in NATO (though only America has shared any nuclear weapons so far from all the other countries with nuclear reserves). Turkey, along with Germany, Belgium, Netherlands and Italy are hosting American nuclear weapons currently.**

** A lot is fucked up right now with Bulgaria, so excuse him for being bitchy. I tried to justify his behavior, but it's basically me being annoyed at the pitiful state of the political world...**

**I know the ending is awful, but it's late for me and I wanted to finish and post this before I went to bed because I might chicken out later. Review, please!**


End file.
